Now I understand that when a boy approaches a girl there is a certain amount of ego involved and that it probably took a whole lot of guts for him to do it in the first place. But over the years I have become increasingly astonished about the kinds of reactions that I have gotten when I politely say no thanks.

When are boys going to learn that being rude is only sealing their fate and turning a, "No thanks, possibly just at this moment," to a "No thanks, don't ever bother asking again."

I also find it completely un-endearing when boys respond with a sheepish, "Well it's not like I was asking you to marry me."

Boys, listen up...

Just because you find yourself attracted to me, doesn't mean I was trying to attract you.  Sorry.

Sometimes it's because I am truly not interested and I want to be fair-- because I totally would love to rip you off and make you pay for an expensive dinner, especially in this economic climate.

Sometimes I just got caught off guard. I'm at a stage in my life where I have had enough "fun" and I am ok with where I am.  Single. Simple. So dating, not on my mind, and really... not a priority.

In either case, you still have the chance to get to know me and perhaps your fate could change.

But, if you are given to being rude about it, or have the need show me that you aren't serious, then don't bother. I just don't have the energy or the time.

I don't have any children, but now I have my pageant girls.

I think about them all the time, for example, today my friend Rain and I were having a conversation (slightly edited):

Rain: How are you by the way? Missing anything? Satisfied?

Me(in proper beauty queen format): Thank you for that question Rain. I would say I am pretty satisfied right now, because as I have grown older I've come to realize that what you think you want will not necessarily make you happy and it's the perception of missing something that truly drives discontent. Thank you. Once again, I'm Alice, your contestant number zero.

They've permeated every hour of my day, dictating when I eat and sleep. I stayed up last night worrying if they'd submit their bios on time for the M-Weekly Miss Asia Special Edition and today, I missed out on many of my favorite foods at the dim sum press conference because I was watching them, coaching them through the junket. If you know me at all, food is serious business.

Every night Konnie (my assistant image director and partner in crime)pour over the day's work, making notes to ourselves about how much the girls have done. I'm a little bit the bad cop, ready to tell all the girls where they need to improve, but Konnie always reminds me of how much they have grown and learned in the few short hours we have with them every day.

Even though I am a fashion and beauty girl, having worked in this industry for a good solid ten years, I am not an everyday makeup girl. I am not an every day 4" heels to go to the deli girl. I am not even an everyday brush my hair girl. But for my ladies, I get up every morning and put on makeup and brush my hair. I've opened my vast archive of dresses and put my ridiculous collection of heels to work. I know I need to walk the walk and talk the talk if I want to turn out international pageant winners.

And I know, when they crown Miss Asia East Coast, my very first baby queen, I will be in the wings bawling into Konnie's shoulder.

Come see my girls: http://www.sundayusa.us/missasia/info.html

If you thought I left my days of Asian American community activities (and activism) behind with Altra... SURPRISE, I'm back. My newest incarnation is US Image Director of ATV's Miss Asia pageants.

I know, I know...

"What?!?"

"Alice...noo..."

Try not to judge! Before you start erasing my name from your list of favorite AA feminists give me a chance.

When I think of beauty pageants this quote from my favorite Asian American comedienne, Margaret Cho comes to mind:

"It's this idea of beauty as being a rumor that becomes true in the re-telling."

Growing up, blissfully living the American Dream in a predominantly caucasian suburb, I was never what you might call "disadvantaged." And I won't lie and say that I didn't have a healthy perception of my physical appearance either. My aunts and uncles doted on me, always suggesting that I'd grow up and compete in Hong Kong for one of the coveted beauty queen tiles. Or that I'd be Miss Chinatown, Houston. 

But this in itself poses an interesting question: Why do I have to travel to Hong Kong to be beautiful? Why am I only beautiful within the confines of Chinatown? I didn't even live in Chinatown! Seeing nothing but Texas blond beauty queens on TV didn't help either. It was exciting for me if there was a brunette Miss America (Lynda Carter!), because that was the closest thing to an American role model who looked like me, and was praised for her beauty and to a certain extent, her intelligence.

This brings us back to what Margaret said.

One of those beauty pageants that my aunts and uncles fantasized that I would fly off to Hong Kong and compete in, ATV's Miss Asia, founded in 1985, is now acknowledging that there is a significant and important Asian population here in the United States. Originally only open to Los Angeles women, the competition is now open to New York and San Francisco, for the first time in the three years ATV has invited the US to send a representative over. We now get three representatives, three ladies to send to Asia and show how Asians who grow up in the United States are awesome enough to act as a representative of  Asian awesomeness to the world.

So how does what Margaret said apply to Miss Asia in America, especially because it's still "Miss Asia," and especially because the girls who win the 3 US regionals still go to Hong Kong to compete for the final titles?

Well, because we aren't Asians in Hong Kong. We are Americans. We are ambassadors of our community, of our country. And the ladies who are chosen here, in the process of being chosen, they rally the community around them, they become role models.

Now that there are three regional competitions, the access has tripled. Girls from all over the US are welcome to apply as long as they are willing and able to travel to the respective locations for trials and the actual pageant. If you can come from Texas and compete in California or New York, even better. Bring your community with you.

For my generation and the generations before me, there were very few visible or popular Asian American role models. Asian American girls, like all other women of color were always forced to put their beauty in context. The producers of All American Girl told Margaret that she was "too Asian" looking and  not relatable to the American public. Getting canned for not being funny is one thing, but fired for looking like you do, off a show based on your life?

I think it's about time that we had a forum here in America that is not just confined to individual communities, that is not just contained within the US, that encourages Asian American girls to embrace their beauty and gives them the opportunity to reshape the perception of "beautiful" in America. I think it's about time we had the opportunity to represent America in this capacity because Asian American women should be proud and know they are beautiful just because they are.

Represent. Apply. www.sundayusa.us/missasia/

Yes. I waited a few days to make sure it was not a fluke. But it's true.

My zero button works again!

Thank You Universe.

Sitting in the dark at the Apollo, I kept thinking, "I always have tissues! How could I forget them today?"
Courtesy of TFK, Little sister and I had orchestra seats at the Do Something Awards-- we were both inspired to tears.

Walking away, part of me felt humbled knowing that these kids around a decade my junior had done such amazing things for the world at large, but it also gave me hope that if someone could do so much in the short amount of time that they have existed on earth, then it's really not impossible.

Maggie, the girl who won the biggest award--what she has done is amazing. But, if you read her back story, you come to realize that she comes from extraordinary circumstance. Her parents, they are exceptional people. It's really the world which surrounded her that made Maggie who she is. While not all of us can be Maggie, every single one of us can be the world around her and be the force that creates and shapes change.